Life As It Appears on the Internet

Do you present a fairytale family on social media?

I ran across a blog post the other day entitled Dear Homeschool Moms Who Have It All Figured Out and from the looks of the comments it received some mixed reactions. It starts out like this: 

You know who I’m talking about. 

The homeschool moms who post on their blogs and Facebook and make it look like their homeschool is perfect, their kids are perfect and everything in their life is sunshine and rainbows. 

I’m sure you can think of at least one {probably more!} posts like these that you’ve read just this week.

Are you one of these homeschool moms?

If so, please, I am begging you, please stop now.

You aren’t fooling anyone. Deep down, you know that you aren’t even fooling yourself.

What you are doing though is hurting other homeschool moms. You’re convincing them that they aren’t good enough. That because they have bad days and their kids aren’t perfect that by extension that means they are doing something wrong. You’re sending the message that if homeschooling isn’t easy for them then maybe they should reconsider their decision. 

You may not mean to send these messages, but you are. You’re causing homeschooling mothers, especially newbies, to falter, to become insecure, to lose sight of the goal and to ultimately walk away from homeschooling altogether.

The post goes on to reference moms who have thrown in the towel on homeschooling because they've been discouraged by both the perfect moms portrayed on these blogs and some from their own homeschooling communities. She encourages people to be real and authentic in their posts so they don't unwittingly cause more damage to the cause.     
  
The reactions (from the comment section) were generally one of three responses: 

1. Thanks for the encouragement that I don't have to be discouraged by the "perfect" blogs  
2. I completely disagree that I should air my dirty laundry on my blog 
3. Maybe there's a balance between being perfect and showing every single flaw

First of all, you don't have to homeschool to engage with this blog post. Take out the word homeschool and stick in some other word or phrase like "Dear Matha Stewart Mom" or "Dear Working Mom" or "Dear Legalistic Mom" or "Dear Friend I Went To High School With Mom". Let's face it... We all (to our own detriment) play the comparison game. My question is, what exactly does it mean to be authentic in this day in age when you can portray whoever you want to be on the internet? How much information is too much? I don't think this blog post is suggesting that we all start airing our dirty educational laundry, but obviously since the comments/reactions were so diverse to her post, I figure it's worth exploring.      

I try to lean heavily toward option #3 for my social media presence, but I struggle mightily with it. I'll be honest, in my sanguinity (is that a word?) I would generally rather tell you how I have been encouraged and what I have conviction about rather than the 20323th time I have yelled at my children for the same act of disobedience or the 339278th miscommunication I have had with my husband. To some that may appear on their mini-feed as "I have two funny, wonderful girls and a husband who enjoys cooking, loves the Lord, and thinks deeply about life. How perfect!" However, those close to us, know the deeper stories and struggles. Isn't that our prerogative though to share those kind of stories with those whom we trust and can give us wise counsel rather than the whole world just so we can appear real? Am I obliged to throw in an "Ugh.. struggling today with my children and my marriage!!!" status update to balance out a week of "sunshine and roses"? How would my children or my husband feel if I vented about them on the internet in a momentary snit? Is my life me-focused or is it others focused? 

I suspect there is indeed a balance between inappropriately criticizing/divulging information and being a real human being with ups and downs, especially when you are dealing with those issues in a public forum. I want to protect my family from our instant-gratification-warts-and-all-TMI society, but be gracious in my speech when there is a lesson in the hard times. This is the balance that I am sure the author of the blog post intended.  

All that to say, I hope to communicate my thoughts about education effectively without being too optimistic about some things and too dismissive of others, but I know it's a fine line to walk.

Thoughts?